influences

this is by far the most important record of my life. it changed how i see music and it’s weird i remember the first time i heard it i remember playing the first track being like “wow holy shit who made this” I never knew it was Jpegmafia for like a year. I remember i didn’t really get it yet at first but i couldn’t put it down I was drawn to it, it was illuminating. during 2022-24 I really dealt with gender dysphoria and I wasn’t really able to relate to any records on it. The other being Cindy Lee’s what’s tonight to eternity and a record that will be talked about coming up. Anyways like I said I wasn’t able to resonate with other records they would be proud and joyous and so sure of what they wanted to be they had such a distinctive femininity or masculinity. I never felt that, I never felt like I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn’t feel secure with being overly masculine and I didn’t feel secure being fully feminine either. A lot of those feeling I had I felt on this record Devon sung about that. And even though he is not trans it really touched me and the feelings that went into it. I’ve always had the feeling the Devon was dealing with gender dysphoria, loneliness, and insecurity. There is a email out there that he sent out I think it’s on the vinyl’s fold now that I felt touched on that. But to continue the sound really gave me something unique a true blast of melancholic hurt nostalgia buried under extremely loud pads and samples of anime and porn. It truly changed my life and how I make music you can hear it everywhere in theater of dogs. The most important album I ever heard.

ソーベ, Sobe, Sorbet, whichever way you say her name my god this record hit me like a fucking bomb in the mailbox. I legit remember crying the first time I heard “I wish every single aspect of my life was completely different” i heard it at a time where my anxiety was killing me I couldn’t make music i was stuck out of state and growing increasingly worse by the day I felt like shit I wanted to hurt myself every minute I was awake and id just sit around touch myself, and listen to music while wasting time away. i was so lonely (still am for most part) It was a bad time but oh my god then I heard this the moment the disappearance started to play and then that fucking final solo hit my soul was hit. The guitars pierced my skull. The drums gave me at least some reason to want to move. The vocals and atmosphere drowned me in something that even now I can’t quite explain. A joy inside of hurt. this album changed my life hell this website wouldn’t be here without her. I thanked sobe around a year ago I felt shy and I didn’t know what to say but I wanted to say something and thank her. And I did and the day I got a response back I remember how happy I was. It’s little things like that. Giving me just enough reason to go on and continue. Even now I tear up writing about this record. No record I have ever heard has had melody like this one. i don’t think I will ever hear a record like this again. You gave me direction at a time I was lost. Thank you Sobe I hope one day I hear from u again.

What a whirlwind. The story of this album alone is insane enough with the almost mythical status the lore surrounding it. Everything about this record though is special the production is so unique and the bit crush on here is used far better than any album I have ever heard. I know this album is like satire supposedly to mock a stale scene but somehow in doing that they made something far more daring and far more gripping than anything else in the scene. Only a couple artists could even say they came close ($pirit Gurlz, Fax gang, Team Mekano) Hexxd was never meant to last it was a transient a cluster fuck of personality’s and magic that will never come together again even if the genre isn’t fully dead yet, but even now I feel like hex isn’t used like it was now just being a sub genre instead of what it was. anyways this album is so painful when you really get it. There is no album that can get this dark and sound this fun? i hope everyone who worked on this is doing okay. I never expect to hear another AGM record again I don’t think anyone who Is a fan of them thinks they are coming back. Maybe some other project but AGM idk. Anyways the vocals and writing are flawless the writing can be seen as hard to understand but I felt like I could at least grasp what they tried to tell. And instrumentally I believe AGM has always been some of the greatest drum programmers of all time. What else do I say AGM changed my life I used to wish I was apart of them. But now it’s long past and that is “OKAYYYYY”.

Did I even mention Chino Moreno is the greatest vocalist of all time. This fucking guy had me screeching vocal frying for years now. I learned how to scream replicating what he was doing and I wanted to sing like him for yearssss. Now I’m finally coming to accept that shit is not going to happen but what a guy a beautiful voice around beautiful guitars and such unique drumming with a great bass player backing them what fucking more do you want. Pads? Bitch they are there. I legit don’t have any flaws in this project nothing I would change they somehow got Maynard to do vocals on it which to me is an impossible feat of nature. I love this mainly I love the vocals and guitar with such great Harmony these two instruments work perfectly in sync. I love white pony everything about it deftones is one of the greatest projects ever.

Fun story I remember like years ago turning on “I want to be with you” and hearing it and being like “yea this shit not for me” I kept getting recommended it by spotify but I never got it every time I’d play it disappointment. Well eventually somehow they ended up playing I think it was “In The Distant Travels” and it hit I loved it I listened to the album I loved it except one song… i want to be with you. Well eventually I learned to love that song and its intro and now it’s a perfect album to me. I loveeeee this album the guitars so perfectly played and sonically touching. It’s so emotional listening to the absolutely colorful environment this album portrays. it paints a beautiful picture of longing and hoping for someone to recognize and reciprocate the feeling that they have for them. sadness albums tell some the greatest love stories of all time. “In the distant travels somewhere you dance like the June sky.”

The Greatest Album of all time. That’s it. Why isn’t this at the top. It’s not the most influential album of my life but it is one of the most important and my favorite album of all time. Back to near the beginning of my music journey I remember listening to this album and thinking it won’t ever get better than this and so far still has not. I loved NIN before but then I heard this album around 2020 and while covid was not bad for me coming out of it in 2021 and returning to the world and in particular 2022 my 2nd year of high school. I was dealing with bad relationships resurfacing traumas and ongoing traumatic moments. i was getting into SH and I remember one night at the time I would ride at 1-3am on my bike. And one night I had made my mind up. I was going to end it all and before I did it I wanted to do one final thing my last act on earth was going to listen to the one thing I loved that was real with and meant something. coming face to face with my own death I turned on the downward spiral and rode my bike around knowing when I stopped It was the end. I listened to the entire thing and when I returned home you can probably guess what I tried next. I still see it to this day… but I survived probably cause it was dark and I couldn’t see what it was doing. But to sleep and didn’t expect to wake up.

Myli fact: I have a song named after this this album. So anyways I love this album I have loved everything LUM has done since the shift away from rap. I really liked his hip hop stuff too I think a lot of ppl do. But what he has done the past 5 years has been revolutionary. LUM excels on this record at writing and lyrics. He is a genius a true genius his amazing production and ability to take the wacky and tacky world he see’s himself in and make it real is something I don’t think any musician on earth can do. Normally if they tried id say cringeeee. LUM however interpolates the childlike and the old with hurt and relatability. He shares stories about the way he is struggling and all the silliness feels like a cover or a veil to shelter the broken man inside. I felt it. I got everything on this I related to LUM I felt for him. this album has phenomenal guitar if I forgot to mention. perfect record 10/10 hope all is well seems like it is.

Here we go. I KNOW I KNOW. Okay I know the story the edgy bullshit. I know all the shit and how much everyone hates them hell I have AGM on this list and they RIPPED on them on record. But it’s my list AND ITS MY INFLUENCES. And I choose to put an artist that inspired me a long time ago to improve by a lot. Sewerslvt was almost a gateway for me to get into ambient music and find records that resonated with me but they aren’t just a gateway I used to watch tons of those “how to make sewerslvt pads/breakcore” and I for a brief time wanted to really copy her homework (so original I knowwwww like there aren’t already 1000000 sewerslvt clones) but keep in mind this is early in my music shit like 2020-21 maybe so I didn’t know what I was doing before her I just liked listening to industrial music and loud sounds. After my taste refined a lot. I love the pads on this record. I love how it’s produced. Tbh I don’t like breakcore. Like at all honestly and yes this is an atmospheric D&B record but it’s better that way. Sewerslvt was a really nice artist to listen to at a lonely. Time in my life. Nowadays I still try to listen to but when I do I just think “they were way better when they didn’t give a fuck” I have never seen an artist more hated than sewerslvt. But I never could bring myself to hate them myself. There will always be a soft spot for them. There probably wouldn’t be a Myli without Sewerslvt and I probably wouldn’t be as inspired if not for them. So thank you Cynthoni.